Paper Mario TTYD: ω—D – PART 1 – Game Grumps

Paper Mario TTYD: ω—D – PART 1 – Game Grumps


[Arin] Hey, I’m Grump!
[Danny] I’m not so Grump! [Together] And we’re the Game Grumps! [Together] Whoa! [Arin] What is this?
[Danny continues the elongated whoa] [Arin] What is- what is this?
[Danny] Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door! [Arin] Its a video game!
[Danny] It- It is… [Danny] Arin, would you like to read off the fuckin’ 8000
names of the people who sent this to us? [Arin] Yeah, the list of names that took us like
20 minutes to start the episode? [Danny]: Do it!
[Arin] Uh, you got it! [Arin] Thank you to…
[Danny] Thank you zoo [Arin] Samantha & Mallory Lorenz
[Danny] You guys are the best [Arin] We got Hernan Perez
[Danny] Thank you [Arin] We got Howard… uh… Seward Viau
[Danny] Okay
[Arin] I’m hoping I pronounced that right… [Arin] Uh, we got Kelsey & Zach
[Danny] Mhm [Arin] We got Tanner & Madison Southw- worth
[Danny] Jesus Christmas [Arin] We got Justin & Brandon Reed
[Danny] Wow [Arin] We got Justin Henry AND Marissa Mindiola
[Danny] Uh-huh… Good god!
[Arin] They’ve sent us games before [Arin] Uh… We got Larry… ah, fuck…
Larry M. Men… Mendez
[Danny] Thank you Larry [Arin] Uh… We got Niklas Thomas
[Danny] Mhm [Arin] We got Matty
[Danny] Wow [Arin] Pauly K. [Arin] Kyle [Arin] And William Aitchison
[Danny] Jesus Chr… [Arin] Thanks all of you!
[Danny] Wow! [Danny] Ble- Thank you so much guys! [Danny stuttering] [Danny] Uh, the darkness… [Arin] Thousand-Year Door… [Danny] “It was as if the very world
had come to a violent end” [Danny] Arin, could you narrate this with
your most sexy, deep voice?
[Arin] Yeah… [Arin] “The town sank into the depths of the earth…”
[Danny] Ah, outstanding [Arin] “Many moons rose and set…” “…Stories of the town passed into the pa-” “…And when the town’s site no longer held relics o-” “…People gathered at that spot and built a new town…” [Danny] Wow, they don’t give you a lot of time huh?
[Arin] Yeah…
[Danny] Alright [Arin] I read faster in my head than I do- “…But word soon spread among
the people who moved-” “…That an ancient city lay deep undergr-” “…And that a magnificent treasure rest-” [Danny and Arin laughing] “…Indeed…”
[Danny] Indee- [Danny laughing] [Arin] “This is the tale of the fabled treasure of-” [Danny laughing] [Danny] Turn the page…
[Arin laughing] [Arin *Girlish tone*] I’m sick of this stor- [Arin *deep voice*] “…Yes, this is where it begins, in-” “…The tale of the quest for the legendary-” “…And the Thousand-Year Door… star-” [Danny and Arin laughing] [Danny *Girlish tone*] This is where hang
the non-believers… [Arin dying of laughing] [Danny and Arin laughing] [A: Peach] Finally! A place (where) we
can murder indiscriminately! [Danny] God! What is that?
[A: Peach] And for entertainment! [Arin] Mm [Arin] That’s Princess Peach dude…
[Danny] No, but I mean why is she in front of a gallows?! [Arin] I don’t know
[Danny] Okay [A: Peach] Once in a while I’d like the chance
to look around on my own- [Arin] *Sigh* Jesus Christ [Danny] *Laughs* Fuck… [Arin] Everything’s made of paper so you’ll- [A: Peach] But…now that I’m doing it, all I see
is that this town has a very…umm… [Danny] …distinct flavor [Disembodied Voice] Oh, Missy… Missy… [Danny] …Loganberry… [Arin laughing] [Danny] Whoa… [A: Peach] Do you mean… me?!? [A: Old Merchant] EHHHH
[Danny laughing] [A: Old Merchant] Yes, you, Missy! Won’t you buy something?
I have a wide assortment of knickknacks and doodads! [A: Peach] Oh! Well… Umm… [D: Peach] I’ll take a doodad… [A: Peach] Three doodads please!
[Danny laughing] [A: Peach] And can I get that knickknack well-done? [A: Peach] I’ll have mustard as well… [A: Old Merchant] *Weird noise* [Danny laughing] [A: Old Merchant] It is said that this box holds
a map- AH FUCK… [A: Old Merchant] …But the box has a magic lock-
[Danny] You cant change voices and then drink [Arin laughing] [A: Old Merchant] As you can see… It won’t
as much- so much as budge if one of the- [Arin] God dammit dude!
[Danny] I know dude I’m not hitting anything [A: Peach] Ooooh… [A: Old Merchant] I know. If the box will open for you,
Missy, then you may have whatever is inside I am sure that whatever is in there
would be of no use to someone like me. [D: Old Merchant] Unless it’s a face, I could use a face
[A: Old Merchant] Totally! [A: Peach] Uh.. Okay… What’s the harm? [Arin] What’s the harm of taking something from
a creepy merchant with no face?
[Danny] Yeah [D: Peach] There’s no precedence for a box being evil
Like in Pandora… or Hellraiser…
[Arin laughing] [Danny laughing] [A: Peach] Those are all fictional stories though
[Danny] Oh shit [Danny] I didn’t start the- okay
[Arin] You didn’t even press start dude [Danny] Jeez! I’m sorry
[Arin] That was just the intro
[Danny] Holy crap! [Arin] Uh, Don’t touch the memory card please
[Danny] Alright, I won’t! Fuck, I’m over here! [Danny] How am I even gonna do anything?
[Arin] Yes, create a save file [Danny] Yes please
[Arin] Mhm [Arin *Girlish Voice*] Do not touch the memory card
[Danny] I won’t fucking touch it! [Danny] Back up!
[Arin *Girlish Voice*] Okay~ Don’t touch it please!~ [Danny] That pow- the ‘w’ in power looked like a butt
But it’s too late now [Danny] Everyone’s gonna have to go back in time
on their YouTube video [Arin] Alright! Go ahead and hit ‘New Game’ [Danny] Blue, please
[Arin] Oh nice! [Arin] Wow. I’ve never- never ever- It’s always
just number one for me. I don’t… [Arin] I don’t make a judge-
It does look like a butt! [Danny] Yes!
[Arin] Or it looks more like ballsack
[Danny] Oh yeah… [Arin] And- and if you put like a… [Arin] Like a ‘j’… *laughs* …on top of it! [Arin] It looks like a-
[Danny laughs]
[Arin] It looks like a curvy penis [Danny] Wait… maybe we could-
[Arin] With like a little- like a little jizzem dot on top
[Danny] Let’s see… [Danny] Umm…
[Arin] Nut… [Danny] Wait, wait-
[Arin] Nuts to U! [Danny and Arin laughing] [Arin] And then a capital ‘D’
[Danny] Yeah
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Great! We did it! [Danny] We made it look as much
like a dick as we could [Arin] Hmm…
[Danny] Oh no, not back! [Arin] That’s gonna be your name forever now… [Together] Is this name okay?
[Danny] Dick? [Arin] A Big Penis
[Danny] *Laughs* Yes [Danny] That’s how you’ll have to say it every time [Arin] Yeah
[Arin *Girlish Voice*] A Big Penis~ [Arin *Girlish Voice*] Oh thank you for saving us
A Big Penis [Arin] Why would they let you name your character
when it’s clearly Mario? [Danny] Solid point
I think we’re just naming the Save Game file [Arin] Uhh… I don’t know man… [Arin] I think they call you by your name
[Danny] They stopped that with Link in like Zelda 2 [Arin] No, they still call you whatever you…
[Danny] Really?
[Arin] Whatever you put your name in as [Danny *Girlish Voice*] ‘Good job, Fart’ [Arin] Yeah [Arin *Girlish Voice*] ‘Hey Buttwad!’ [Arin] Oh look, it does say Mario
[Danny] Awh… [Arin] Thought it would have a big dick on there *Laughs*
[Danny] You wish! [A&D: Parakarry *Nasally*] Mail call! [Danny] I love that we gave him the same voice [Arin] And everybody just shoots him…
[A: Parakarry] BWAH! [Danny and Arin laughing] [A: Luigi] Aah!…
[D: Luigi] I’m the freeloading brother living with Mario [A: Luigi] Thank goodness I killed Mario
and took all his possessions
[Danny] Whoa… [A: Luigi] Mario~ Oh wait, you’re dead~ [D: Luigi] Hey, Bro! Check it out! A letter arrived from
Princess Peach arrived for you! [A: Mario] Oh, Sweet! Let’s throw it in the furnace [D: Luigi] I’ll just read it to you, how’s that sound? [A: Mario] No- No- NO! [D: Luigi] Ahem! Now let’s see here… [A: Mario] NO! NO! Don’t read! [D: Luigi] It’s a picture… of her va..gi..na… [A: Mario] I told you not to read, Luigi… [D: Peach] “Hello there, Mario!” “I am now on holiday, traveling in
the Mushroom Kingdom” [D: Peach] I wish I was traveling through
your Mushroom Kingdom
[Arin] Mmmm… “In my travels, I came into possession
of a mystical map…
a treasure map, actually” “It was inside a box I got from an old merchant
in a town called Rogueport” “But since it would be too difficult for me to
try to go find treasure all by myself…” “I thought maybe you could try to fucking help me
hunt for it! You will, of course, won’t you?” [D: Peach] You always do the shit I want you to do [D: Peach] Wait, what is even your life?
It’s just revolving around me!
Getting lost… saving me… [A: Luigi] Why doesn’t she ever write ME a letter?! “I’ve included the map with this letter. Please don’t bring
your stupid loser brother, Luigi.”
[Arin laughing] [A: Luigi] Oh man…! [A: Mario] I told you not to read it! [D: Peach] “I’ll meet you at Rogueport
(That means you MUST come!)” [A: Luigi] Jeez… Pushy…
[Danny] Yeah [D: Mario] Why do I even like this chick?
[Arin] *Laughs* Yeah [A: Luigi] Are you going to let her push
you around like that Mario? [D: Luigi] What do you know? It’s true!
There’s a weathered old map in here with the letter [D: Luigi] Check it out! [D: Luigi] Checkity- Check it out, bro!
[A: Luigi] I’ll check it out for you… [A: Luigi] Hmmm… [A: Luigi] I can’t read [Danny and Arin laughing] [D: Luigi] Yep! It’s official! [Arin laughing] [A: Mario] Wow… We live on a pretty small Earth [Danny] How many fucking title screens do we need? [Arin] No, this is the- This is the ultimate-
The penultimate!- [Danny] Paper Mario… The Thousand Screened Title…
[Arin laughing] [Danny] I can’t skip this either [Arin] I can’t- Look tha- That boat is too far away, dude [Arin] The resolution isn’t big enough for me
to know what that boat is… [Arin] It’s- It’s just a- It’s a boat, I guess [Arin] Bye…
[Danny] Byyyee… [D: Mario] That’s when I passed out and
everything turned white [A: Mario] I really love living in this world where
the sun is just a… [A: Mario] …scribble of crayon [Danny] Prologue… [Danny] A Rogue’s… Ballsack- elcome
[Arin] A Rogue’s… Welcome [Arin laughing] [Danny laughing] [Arin] Well, here we go
[Danny] Oh my god, I’m playing Paper Mario!
[Arin] Yeah [D: Captain (suave)] Excuse me… Sir? [A: Mario] E-heugh… [D: Captain] Please wake up, sir! [D: Captain] The town you’d been speaking of
has come into view [D: Captain] Look! That’s Rogueport! [A: Captain] Heh, Ro-grué-port
[D: Captain] *repeats Ro-grué-port softer* [A: Mario] Ugh- Ugh- U-Whaaat? [A: Mario] But everything’s made of paper! [A: Captain] I ha- I hate to break it to you sir- [D: Captain] You see? Ballsack- e’ll arrive shortly
Please prepare to disembark [A: Mario] What does that mean… [A: Mario] Dis-embark? [A: Mario] Please explain! [D: Captain] It means I’m going to
talk shit on your embark [A: Mario] Ooh…
[Danny] Is that toad naked? [Danny] Oh, no… Thank god
[Arin laughing] [Danny] That really confused-
[A: Mario] Is-a that toad na-ked?!
[Danny and Arin laughing] [D: Captain] I must apologize, sir [D: Captain] Our arrival was delayed
just a bit by rough weather… [A: Mario] Oh, was it… confetti falling from the sky? [D: Captain] Are you quite sure you
want to disembark here?
[A: Mario] Yes [D: Captain] I…did tell you all the sordid tales about
Rogueport on our way here, did I not? [A: Mario] You told me about paper Godzilla… [D: Captain] Ballsack- hat’s that? I’m sorry? [D: Captain] You say there’s a princess
sack- aiting here for you? [D: Captain] Is that so? Er… Of course, sir
[A: Mario] Uh… Mhm [D: Captain] Ballsack- ell, if you-
if that’s what you think, then I won’t stop you [Arin] He doesn’t believe you dude [D: Captain] But, uh… You be careful, sir
Don’t say I didn’t warn you! [Arin] Uh… W- Well… Technically he didn’t
because I don’t- [Danny] He didn’t warn you shit
[Arin] I didn’t see what was warned… [Danny] Holy crap
[Arin *Suave*] Hmm… Rogueport~ [Danny] Oh, yay. I’m playing! [Danny] Did I- Oh! Well…
[Arin laughing] [Danny] Okay
[Arin] Oh Okay [Arin] So if you’re ma- *coughing* [Arin] If you’re made of paper, it’s not the water
that hurts you, it’s the fucking steel fish underneath [Danny] Oh this weird…
[Arin] Yeah [A: Orange Toad] Hello! [Danny] Are these friendly bombs?
[Arin] Yeah, they’re- they’re just like towns mates [Danny] Oh
[Arin] Hello! [D: Bomberto] Oy!
[A: Bomberto] Oy! [Danny laughing] [A: Bomberto] Welcome to Rogueport!
Bit of a nasty place, eh? You got guts, comin’ down here [A: Bomberto] You look a bit green, so ‘ave
a wee bit of advice, on me [A: Bomberto] Hit that Save Block to save [A: Bomberto] Cause the thing about life is, ya never
know when you’re gonna kick the ol’ bucket [Arin] And then just explodes and everybody dies
*Laughs* [Danny] God damn, man
[Arin *Reporter Voice*] Terrorist attack from…
[Danny] Yeah [Arin *Reporter Voice*] Bandana-wearing bob-omb [Danny] Okay [Arin] “Any time you find a block like this,
be sure to save!” [Danny] Great
[Arin] Mhm
[Danny] Yeah! [Danny] Hell yeah, I’ll save my progress! [Danny] I fell in the water… [Danny] I got eaten…
[Arin laughs] [Arin] Progress was made
[Danny] I hurt myself… [A: Orange Toad] What do you want, pal? Huh?
A princess in a pink dress? [A: Orange Toad] I ain’t seen nothing like that, no
I’d remember a princess, probably [A: Orange Toad] Why do you want
this chick, anyway, pal? [A: Orange Toad] Owe you money?
Or is she yer girlfriend? [Danny] Wow… You nosy, little prick [A: Orange Toad] My body’s a pumpkin!
[Danny laughing] [Arin] Whoa… What the fuck?
[Danny] Whoa… [Danny] You’re a freak!
[Arin laughing] [Arin] Get away from me, freak!!!
[Danny laughing] [A: Lord Crump] Oh, come off it, you airhead!
I know it’s tough for you, but don’t play dumb with me! [A: Lord Crump] I’ve seen you walking around town
asking for information about the Crystal Stars [A: Lord Crump] Well, now I’m doing the asking, so
be a good girl and tell us what you know! Right. NOW! [D: Goombella] Never! I don’t have anything
to say to you creeps! Eww!
[Arin laughing] [D: Goombella] E-sack-sack!
[Danny and Arin laughing] [A: Lord Crump] I suppose it wouldn’t be right if a sassy
little lass like you met with an untimely demise… [Danny] That’s a lot of talk about death! [Arin] Yeah, out- out in… out in the open… [D: Lord Crump] Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh!
[Danny and Arin laughing] [A: Lord Crump] Boys, we’re taking this
firebrand to our fortress! [A: X-Naut] As you command, Lord Crump! We’re on it! [Arin] The other one’s like ‘I’m here too!’ [A: Lord Crump] No!
[Arin] Oh, that’s- that’s you, that’s you [D: Goombella] N-No! Stop right there, you weirdos!
I’ll scream! Really! [A: Goombella] AAAHHH! [D: Mario] This looks like a job for… uh… [D: Goombella] Like I’d go anywhere with
smelly lunatics like you! Hmph! Not Likely! [A: Goombella] I’m gonna hide behind this plumber!
[D: Lord Crump] Whuh? [D: Goombella] I’m gonna hide behind this weird Italian!
[A: Mario] Ooh!? [A: Lord Crump] What do you think YOU’RE doing,
chump? You think you can screw up my plans?!? [D: Mario] EEHhh?!
[Danny and Arin laughing] [A: Lord Crump] Gah! It’s always something… [A: Lord Crump] Looks like I’m going to have to
give you a little taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB! [Danny] Ugh… Please don’t [Danny and Arin laughing] [A: Lord Crump] It’s when I place
my nutsack on your face [Arin] Can’t flee this fight! [Danny] Holy crap! [Arin] Yeah… You’re gonna have to fight-
[Danny] What is this?… Mario Final Fantasy?!
[Arin] Yeah! [Danny] Whoa… [D: Goombella] Battle time, Mister Man!
[Danny and Arin laughing] [D: Goombella] Find a way to beat
this freak of the week, OK?
[Arin] Uh-huh… [Danny] God… This mushroom a (unclear) [D: Goombella] Don’t sweat the details
Just jump on him and hit him with your hammer! [A: Mario] Uh… What hammer are you speaking of? [Danny] Okay
[Arin] Here we go… [Danny] “Hold that left and release it
when the ball lights up” …Okay [Arin] *Snooty laugh*
[Danny] Nice! [A: Goombella] Sweet! You KNOW that hurt!
[Danny laughing] [A: Goombella] Wow, I gotta say,
you’re tougher than you look [D: Goombella] I didn’t think you were capable of hitting
someone with a hammer but I guess we all are [Arin laughing] [D: Goombella] Deep down inside… [Arin] Wow, he really does hit you with his nutsack!
[Danny] Yeah, he really does [Danny] Fuck him, I’ll jump on him
[Arin] There you go [Danny] “Press A just before stomping on an enemy!” [A: Lord Crump] Warh!
[Danny] Yaayyy… [A: Goombella] You’ve got him on the ropes! C’mon!
Keep whaling on him! [D: Goombella] Keep wha-ling on him
[Danny] Wow, whaling looks weird in print [Arin] Yeah, it sure does [Danny] Wow, it shakes my controller up and around [Arin] Yeah, maybe you should put it on your balls
[Danny] Okay [Arin] I mean… Not that I would know
what that feels like or anything…
[Danny] Of course [A: Mario] heee… Ugh! [Danny] Nice! [A: Gombella] Wow, you did it again! [A: Goombella] You’re really good at doing
the same thing over and over again [D: Goombella] Yes! You got star points! [A: Goombella] *GASP* What are those?! [D: Goombella] Each hit does two worth of damage [D: Goombella] Unfortunately, Lord Crump
has 67 points of damage
[Arin laughing] [A: Goombella] Surprise!
[Danny laughing] [Arin] Aw, Sweet! Look at all those fucking star points! [A: Mario] A-Yay!
[Arin] laughing]
[Danny] I did it! [A: Mario] I got something I don’t understand… [D: Mario] Hooray [D: Lord Crump] Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh!
[A: Lord Crump] Buh huh huh! Buh huh huh! [A: Lord Crump] Ok, you got a couple
decent shots in, I’ll give you that
[D: Lord Crump] I am bleeding internally… [A: Lord Crump] But… unfortunately for you,
that means… [A: Lord Crump] I don’t have a face! [Danny] Oh, Oh… Is it GO time?
[Arin] Oh It’s GO time [Danny] Fuck, I don’t want it to be GO time… [Arin] Yeah… well it’s going to be GO time
[Danny] OOOH GOD, It’s totally GO time!
[Arin] What the fuck? [Arin] Dude…
[Danny] Uh… [Arin] The GameCube can’t take these many characters!
[Danny] Holy shit! [A: Lord Crump] PUNISH HIM!
[D: Lord Crump] Pen-ish him! [Arin] Ooohhh! Fuuck!
[Danny] Whooa! Whooooaa! [Arin] It’s a skirmish!
[Danny] I’m getting ‘pen-ished’ [Arin] God, it looks very Christmas-y right now
[Dannny] Yeah [A&D: Goombella] Quick! This way!
[Arin laughing] [Danny] Uhh… [A: Mario] Oh, Okay
[Arin laughing]
[Danny] Well… [D: Goombella] Phew! What a bunch of loons!
Let’s just sneak out of here [Danny] Yeah! How about we do that…
instead of fucking hanging around! [Danny] Well, next time on Game Grumps
[Arin laughing] [Arin] I’ll just stand here while these guys maybe
might find out where we are and…
[Danny] It’s cool [Danny] We’re playing Paper Mario!
[Arin] Whoo!
[Danny] Bye! [Arin] To them you’re just like a sliver… [Arin] You’re- You’re the side of the paper [Danny] Oh weird…
[Arin] Yeah
[Danny] How dare they?


100 thoughts on “Paper Mario TTYD: ω—D – PART 1 – Game Grumps

  1. In the mario party games we would name our files as mario character. Like I would be toad MY favorite character also Toadette. And my brother would be his favorite, yoshi. Now I use my first name or middle name for games whether your called by that name or not. You're usually not called by what your file name is in mario or spongebob or other famous character games.

  2. friend of mine showed me some of the games you guys play I love how you guys react while playing guess I can start using youtube 🙂

  3. Man I never actually questioned the gallows being placed right in the middle of your first introduction to the town. It's not like it was even necessary. I'm not even sure if I knew what it actually meant when I was a kid. I just remember moving Mario into the background so that it looked like his head was in the noose. Or trying to jump through the noose.

  4. OH MY GOD 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I DIED LAUGHING WHEN HE WAS READING AND DIDN'T FINISH XD

  5. I'm starting Paper Mario TTYD while I watch Game Grumps play it. Who wants to bet I'll beat it in 1/4 of the time?

    (I've played it before so I have an unfair advantage but still it's fun to try)

  6. w————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-D

  7. Well I guess it's time for me to binge this series and then get back to watching all the MCU movies before Endgame

  8. That Toadette is like a shallow girlfriend at a bar… Picks a fight for you and claims innocence

  9. It was difficult for me to decide if I was going to watch this. I’ve never watched game grumps before, but I love this game. Already hooked before 3 minutes.

  10. I am re-watching the series while playing Skyrim while wrapped in a warm shroud of a blanket. This is going to be quite an adventure

  11. I cannot express how goddamn happy i am to this day that not only did they finish this game, but dan played it

  12. Arin not breaking character reading the prologue has put me in the mood for the entire play through.

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