[guitar music] *Danny sighs* [music continues] Hey! Wake up! (demonic nutcracker voice):WHAT?! I think I’m gonna hit a million subscribers today! nutcracker: I MUST SLEEP! LET ME SLEEP! Oh come on, you’ve been asleep for like a week and a half, can’t you wake up now? It’s a really important day. nutcracker: AAAaaaAAaaah LET ME SLEEP! *sighs* alright. You know, for someone whose only job is to stand in the background of my videos for 15 minutes at a time, You sure sleep a lot. nutcracker: GO! GO! GO! GO! [door opens] [music] Craig #7336: heheheheheh- [trunk slams, vrooooom] [the sound of crashing and death] [danny, proud of his work, smirks and cleans the blood off of his hands] [music] (Balloon Fart) Well, I’m almost there. I just wanna thank you guys for being here. I really couldn’t have done this without you guys. Oh. Oh! Here it goes! Here it goes! Yes! Yes! I did it! I did it!
(light cheering and Drew Gooden saying “way to go” in background) Wow. A million subscribers. Thank you guys all so much. Especially my little— [camera pans over to the empty seat for the demon nutcracker, Little Nutcracker Guy] …um…I mean… all—I mean especially all of you guys. [suspenseful music] [ominousness intensifies] ???: Hey Buddy! Whoa! Are you— Danny from Vine: Yep I’m you. From Vine. I just wanted to stop by to say congrats. Oh, well, thanks! You know, with vine ending, I was so worried I was gonna have to give up on all the social media stuff, but… (condescendingly) you made it work. You and your… …Gregs. I couldn’t’ve done it without my Gregs™! I guess you could say I’m becoming a pretty big deal now. Yeah well… I have almost 3 million followers on vine, so— Well, they’re about to disappear so… Greg is dumb! Fuck you! Frick you!!!! [reality TV show oh shit drama music] Wait. [trunk slams, vrooooom Again] Aaah, one million subscribers. You know I never really thought I’d get here, but with this many Gregs? Cringey instagram comedy doesn’t stand a chance! Just kidding! There’s still a lot of cringey content out there, which is good for me, cause, that’s what I make videos about. So if there wasn’t cringey content out there then… That’d be bad probably. It’s kinda weird, actually. I started this channel with the intention of showing people how weird and, in a lot of ways fucked up a lot of these accounts are, and Now I kind of…depend on them… to make videos… sooooo Anyways let’s talk about Supreme Patty. [crash sound] We’ve covered a lot of cringey instagram accounts on this channel but supreme patty is… …different. His videos are like a different kind of cringe. I’ve never seen anything like it. For those of you that have never heard of supreme patty before, congratulations, your life is about to get a lot worse. supreme patty has 5.1 million followers on instagram, He’s the CEO of… … …that. He basically makes like comedy skits and these sort of outlandish, like Jackass-style videos. But there’s something that separates him from a lot of people that I’ve seen. When I made a video about Brent Rivera I called his style of comedy “ab comedy” cause he’s always showing of his abs…in the videos. I would say that supreme patty’s genre of comedy is… …confusing comedy? Because after watching almost all of his videos, I just… I just wanna know why. I don’t understand the point or the joke or like the reason behind any of his videos. So here’s an example of one of his videos and as you can tell from the thumbnail… [crash sound] It’s already not looking good. SP: a lemon and a lime? [squirts lemon juice]
[the pain, the horrible pain] hrrrp! ??: I like that. mmmrhhhrrrrrrr SP: and I’m gonna hit it from the half court line. supportive mystery voice: biiiig buckets background gentleman: aw, shit! SP: NRRH! So that’s supreme patty, that’s what he does. He squirts lemon juice in his eyes. And then does shit. You know how in the big bang theory Sheldon says “Bazinga” after he says a joke? Well supreme patty squirts lemon juice in his eyes when he’s… actually just all the time. He does it all the time. You know what I’m worried about? How many times do you think he had to do this before he got that shot? Like there’s no way he made that on the first try. After squirting lemon juice in his eyes? SP: NRRH! I wonder how many lemons this dude went through in this video. It does seem very impressive, but I feel like if it just panned over like, 2 feet you would see like a pile of of squeezed lemons. But hey, I mean there’s nothing funnier than permanantly damaging your eyes. For clout. On a daily basis. Okay, here’s another one of his videos. friend: a lemon a lime and some ‘roners?
*woo!* damn I got me a big ol’ boner. Nice. friend: Aw, look at that JUICE! staaahp Stop putting lemons in your EYES! Stop, my like—I’m gonna cry from watching this. You know how when you think about like eating a lemon your mouth gets watery? I’m watching him squirt lemon juice in his eyes and my eyes are starting to water. For good measure he does pour some beer in his eyes too, so, …good. So this video’s just like them driving around town, like cracking open beers, handing people beers in their cars, I’m pretty sure all of this is illegal, right? You’re not allowed to have open containers of alcohol in your car. I think people in the comments are starting to catch on, cause this dude commented Police Police. Ok Police and then a police emoji. So know I hope you’re starting to get a better understanding of why I’m dubbing this confusing comedy. I just…don’t know why. He squirts lemon juice in his eyes in like 80% of his videos I feel like. Do you think he’s like, addicted to doing this now? Like it kind of seems like he gets a kick out of it, cause he tries to fit it into almost every video I wonder if he does this even when the cameras aren’t on, like if he’s on a date with a girl, and the waiter brings like a lemon water out for him And he’s just sitting there like, [tense music, heartbeat sound] Uh, babe are you ok? What? Oh yeah, I’m fine. I just uh… [music intensifies] hh aa aaaAAAAaAAAAA What the fuck? YEsS! Now I know you think you’ve probably got the gist of supreme patty’s schtick by now, but he’s actually a very versatile comedian. He has a wide variety of bits that he uses in all of his videos, for ex—oh, he’s squirting lemon juice in his eyes again. This time with Lele Pons and Hannah Stocking. …great. Honestly though, if this isn’t the crossover of the century? I don’t know what is. SP: today’s a great day to uh, squeeze some uh, acid in my eyes, isn’t it? Wow, what a creepy thing to say, *laughing* What the fuck? That’s something a sociopath would say! creepy Danny: Excuse me miss… It’s a great day to squirt acid in my eyes, don’t you think? And they’re doing this at the grocery store, like how disrespectful is that? Imagine like a father rushing home from work stopping at the grocery store to pick up some food for his wife and his newborn daughter, but he get’s home late and the mom’s all mad and the baby’s asleep, and the mother’s like “what took you so long?!” and the father’s just like, “There were these fucking kids squirting lemon juice in their eyes.” “They held up the whole store.” And the thing about these videos is like, they’re not even very funny. They’re just like awkward. I just imagine everybody in the grocery store just standing around awkwardly like looking at them being like, What the fuck is going on? SP: Hot sauce, baby powder and some eggs? I’m ’bout to break a leg! I like how it gives you a little preview of what’s about to happen before he does it. And it’s a rhyme, which is really sweet. Hot sauce, baby powder and some eggs? I’m about to break my legs. What great last words. Like if this goes wrong, and he gets like seriously injured, what a great way to plummet to your death, by prefacing it with a little nursery rhyme. Now in this video he doesn’t do lemon juice actually, he does hot sauce. I guess he decided to spice things up. [in background] that was really bad
boooooo [in background] oh come on, what’s wrong with you?
boooooo friend: unwrap the seal on the hot sauce baby! SP: aw!
friend: oh, yes! SKRHH! I can barely even watch this. It’s so hard to watch cause I jus— my whole body like shrivels up. It’s a very physical cringe. It’s a full body cringe. SP: Uuunh aaawwh [slap] SP: Aaauawhh Good. Yep. Slap him in the face for good measure. Throw some eggs at his head. Hell yeah. friend: ooooh…shit! SP: *spluttering* friend: like what, wait like what’s gonna happen now? I don’t know. SP: It’s my left eye. Wow his eye hurts… …what a surprise. What a twist ending to this one. He pours hot sauce in his eyes and his friend slaps him in the head, throws eggs at him and he jumps off his house and his eye hurts. M. Night Shyamalan ending over here Now you might be thinking Danny, it’s not that big of a deal. Maybe pouring hot sauce in your eyes doesn’t even hurt and he’s just pretending it does. It’s not like he’s gonna cause permanent damage to his body doing this. Uh, in his next video he’s wearing an eyepatch. In his next few videos actually, cause he messed up his eye so bad. I don’t think I could think of a worse reason for having to wear an eyepatch. Hey Danny what happened to your eye? Did you get in a fight? Nah. Oh did you get surgery? No. What happened? I poured hot sauce in my eyes, alright?! Nerd! There are some things I really like about his videos though, Like in some of his videos he’s doing things like shooting basketballs or playing soccer and his friend behind the camera is just so…encouraging. friend: Patty Ronaldo, with the moves! p-p-p-p-p-patty buckets! splash-o-rama! buckets! Buckets! What a nice friend! He’s just like kindly encouraging his friend to like make baskets, and pour Hennessy in his eyes and drive a motorcycle off the roof. friend: there she goes! He’s very supportive, it’s kind of sweet to see such a wholesome friend. Okay, here’s an absolute classic prank. Patty goes into a gas station convenience store with a giant gun, and a mask on, but instead of STEALING money, he puts money in the register. I don’t know about you guys but I was just thinking to myself like wow, now seems like a really good time for some armed gunman based humor. And if anyone deserves to be pranked, I think we can all agree that it’s a dude making minimum wage at a gas station. Come to think of it, you know who else deserves to be pranked? librarians. [lawnmower noises] librarian: could you get out, please? Nerds. To be fair he doesn’t seem like the worst person in the world, he does have some videos where he’s helping out homeless people, he like gives them food, cleans them up, …gives them weed. I really like this video. He goes to taco bell and he offers to give the cashier $2000 to quit his job right then and there. SP: Honestly you should just quit. friend: yeah you should just quit bro to be honest. SP: I’ve got two grand bro, I’ll give you two grand friend: two rack-a-roos, bro! I’ve never seen a video before that was so charitable, and yet… flexed on me so hard. Supreme patty’s also got this really weird thing going on where he’s constantly promoting these free chains on his website. friend: yo, PATTY bro, where’d you get all this ice at, dawg? SP: supremepatty.com, brother, all you gotta do is swipe up to get iced up. friend: s’all you gotta do? SP: watches and accessories for free, just swipe up! friend: aw shit, swipe up, they’re free! He’s constantly posting on his story that all the chains he wears are for free on his website, and all you gotta do is swipe up to get iced up. And if you go to his website it does seem like he has a bunch of chains on there for free, and all you have to do is pay for shipping, but I looked into it a little bit more and I watched a few videos that other people have made about this, and apparently it’s just like a drop shipping scam, where basically he’s getting all of the chains for like $6 a piece, and saying he’s selling them for free and all you have to do is pay for shipping, but the shipping is like 15 to 20 dollars. So he’s really selling these cheap-ass chains and making like $10 off of each one, while still seeming like a really great guy for selling these chains for free. There’s lots of videos of people like getting these chains in the mail and they’re all made out of like plastic or really bad quality metals. BF: It broke, right away. It broke right out of the bag. I don’t know if it’s legal to be advertising like this, or if it’s just a really scummy thing to do, but either way… I don’t know, I’m so confused. And that is all I have to say about supreme patty. He has very confusing videos, and I just wanted to basically make this video to vent because I’ve been thinking about them for a long time, and I just don’t know what to think about them, so please let me know. Alright, now it’s time to do my ad read for Honey, so without further ado here is the ad that I made for Honey. HONEY! Is that… Is that the whole thing? HONEY! DOWNLOAD IT NOW IT’S FREE! Uh…Okay Well I’m not gonna use that and instead I’ll just tell you all about honey! Honey is actually really great. I had been hoping that they would sponsor me for a long time cause I have actually been using it for months. It’s a tool for shopping that you can basically install to your web browser that automatically searches for like promo codes and coupon codes and all that stuff when you’re shopping online. It’s personally saved me a lot of money, it works on like Walmart, it works on J Crew, lot li— works on over 30,000 stores. I personally use it most on Amazon. The best part about it is you don’t really have to do anything after you’ve installed it, it jus— it automatically applies every coupon code that it finds to your purchases. Like look at this I put $220 worth of stuff in my Best Buy cart and Honey searches for coupons and saves me $44 of my order. It only takes two clicks to install, so if you wanna get just go to joinhoney.com/greg the link will be in my description. When you think about it there’s really no reason NOT to add it because it doesn’t really do anything except save you money and it’s totally free, so, why wouldn’t you get it? So go ahead and download it for free, it helps me out, it helps honey out, and it helps you out. So it benefits everyone involved. *sigh* alright much better. Well guys, thank you again for 1 million subscribers, that’s crazy. I hope you enjoyed this video, if you’re new here make sure you subscribe to join Greg we’re the strongest army on the internet. Alright thank you Ashlee With Two E’s for turning on my notifications, you are truly Greg I’ll see you guys next time where I print “Greg” out on a big banner and I have a plane fly it over the whole city for everyone to see. Bye!