Hi He greets me, not you Today, Artem Sports.ru annual award for the 2018-19 RPL’s footballer of the year Russian football is kind of…
So-so No, our league rocks It could’ve been better but it’s fine We think that there are lots of things That bring us joy, make us smile And make us happy And one of these reasons is
obviously you, Artem Fedya, I’m kissing your bald head, dear Fake applause now We’ve prepared a little gift Any ideas what’s in there? Seems like a jar Hope it’s not with cucumbers or tomatoes Nope, these are on your back Yet on the front, there’s Ryan Gosling And at the back there’s an average Russian man So I was wrong? No, it’s not a jar A beautiful cup, perhaps? Who could’ve thought! Oh my This is cool guys, honestly What is it though? Very heavy! Is it an ass? It’s not. Your second guess? Boobs? It’s a jar with cucumbers! Just like you wanted Look, I’ll give you a hint
Looks like this Ah, balls! Of course How did you not recognize your own balls? I thought it was Valery Klimov’s Looks familiar?
When you showed it on you Yours are quail though Look, it’s from Sports.ru For the 2018-19 Footballer of the Year Driussi! Wait, we didn’t change it? For Artem Dzyuba! Thank you guys, thank you Put on our special short Are these hairy by the way?
Is it real hair? Man, stop talking about your balls Are you gonna hold my balls
Each of you can hold one We can hold yours and you can take these Did you understand why we gave you balls? Tell me No one in football is afraid of balls these days If somebody wins, let’s say Juventus… Yeah, we’ve got balls, Ronaldo shows it
Simeone shows it Poccetino talks about it Balls represent a real Proper man We congratulate you with winning this award With all our hearts Fedya, thank you so much Is it true that there’s more hair On your balls than on Fedya’s head? Rumors are flying, aren’t they? Thank you so much for this award I honestly thought it was an ass But now I realize how cool it is So big You worked a lot on it, I’m very humbled by this Thank you, Sports.ru For finally starting… You’ve got balls now Finally starting to write proper articles
And understand football Thank you so much guys!